I'm navigating new territory, just like Christopher Columbus

Christopher Columbus-Explorer

I was having a down day today. Just one of those days where I was feeling heavy, things were weighing on me and I didn't feel motivated to do very much. My boyfriend left to drive back to Boston and although he tried to get me out of my funk, I needed to just sit with it and shake it on my own. I decided to look at my ongoing list of things to do. Yes, I'm a list keeper. I love my list. I loved crossing things off my list. So, in order to take advantage of my day off from work (thanks to Chris Columbus), I took out my list and picked out something that didn't require a lot of brain power. Clean your closet. Translation- purge my clothes. I have a couple rules I try to stick by when doing my seasonal closet purge.

My 2 basic rules are:
-Get rid of any item that has pilling, is stained or stretched, faded or has a pull or hole in it.
-Get rid of any item I haven't worn in 2 years or more.

With those rules in mind, I sifted through my closet and also my drawers and filled a plastic garbage bag of items for the Salvation Army. It felt good. It felt refreshing. It also felt like new territory for me. You see, normally after purging items from my closet I am then inclined to go and shop and fill my closet with more items to make up for the gaps. I didn't though. Instead I drove straight to the clothes dumpster, dropped my bag off and then ran a few errands.

A few hours later, while out buying groceries, I walked into Off Fifth (the Saks Fifth Ave factory outlet type store) with the intention of buying some bras and panties. These my dear friends are the only items that are permissible on my fashion fast. As I walked through the store I was bombarded by signs reading "Take an additional 50% off the lowest priced item". A gray cashmere capped sleeved sweater literally screamed- "Miss F. I was made just for you!".  I felt my heart start to race and I quickly turned around, walked right out of the store and decided that I could make do with what I had.

Who was I fooling? My project of cleaning out my closet served as a temporary distraction from my feelings. And while it feels good to be venturing into new territory, it also feels very unfamiliar. I didn't need to fill the gaps in my closet nor did I need to fill the gaps in my emotions. What I needed to do was just be aware of how I was feeling (starting to sound repetitive, I know, but there's a lot of truth here folks) and not run, hide or buy my way toward a temporary fix.

One day at a time...

Miss F.