Turning 40 and other life transitions…

First, I want to give thanks to all of my 22 subscribers. Thank you for supporting me, it means so much! Have a wonderful and happy Thanksgiving!

OK, let's get down to business. I need your help! Have you ever heard of the Life Event’s Scale?  It’s a scale that calculates the level of stress (distress) in your life. It gives a listing of various life events that can cause stress and after you check all of the boxes that apply to you, within 5 seconds you can learn where you fall on the life stressors scale. I recently decided to complete the scale as I have several upcoming events that I deem stressful. However, according to the Life Event's Scale, I should be managing just fine. My final score was under 150 which is deemed as "Low susceptibility to stress-related illness".

I was shocked! Mainly because my stress level has been in a heightened state lately. I mean, where's the check box for turning 40?  Last  time I checked it was considered a milestone birthday and can create existential crisis even in the most stable of persons. And while I'm asking, where's the box for moving to another state and moving in with your boyfriend and his three daughters after you've been single and living on your own for most of your 40, soon to be plus, years?!  Finally, where's the box for changing your job structure and working from home instead of going to the office that you've been working at for 4 years in a vibrant city with established work friends?

I need to come clean. I'm a Type A person who was raised by an ex captain in the marines and at times I find myself running my life like the military. I love order and making lists. In fact, I have lists of my lists. On top of it, if I don't cross everything off my list by a given time, I can easily be sent into a tailspin and move right into the high susceptibility to stress related illness category. Flexibility and deviation from my routine has never been my strong suit. Throw in a milestone birthday, a move, changing job structure, a boyfriend and three daughters and my self-induced military base has been going to hell in a handbasket (or however that saying goes..).

Please don't get me wrong, all of these upcoming changes are well worth it. I have found love and after 40 years of searching, moving to be with Mr. S is the only direction I want to be heading in. Yet for me when there is change, which often brings about stress and anxiety, I tend to turn to my old, familiar vice- SHOPPING. That’s right folks, I am jonesing for a good ole shopping spree right about now.

It hit me this past weekend when my boyfriend drove me through a strip mall that housed all my old time favorite stores (Nordrstrom Rack, DSW Shoes, etc.) that my fashion fast will be coming to an end (Jan 22nd) right around the time when I will be going through these major life transitions. My past behavior would send me right out to these stores rather than allow myself to sit with the feelings that change can stir in me- anxiety, fear, excitement, loss, etc. etc…It’s crossed my mind that maybe I should extend my fashion fast for a few more months. A sort of self-imposed- YOU MUST FEEL THE FEELINGS DURING THIS CHANGE clause! OR, do I dare, allow myself to come off this fast on said date and see if I can ease back into the real world of shopping by trying to be calm, balanced and non extreme in my behavior? By allowing myself to experience the stress or any other feeling that arises in my life and figure out a way to sit with it versus drive to the nearest clothes store?

I’m truly on the fence about what to do. I still have time and will continue to mull this over. In the meantime, I would though love to hear from you. Let me know what you think I should do and also feel free to share where you fall on the stress scale!

One Day at a Time.

Miss F.